I've realised my only issue with honesty
Once you are honest with someone, any future action, behaviour or words are influenced by your honesty.I wish I could just be honest with someone and they would carry one as if they never knew.
Honesty for me is like the fizz in coke; if I inhibit, control or hold in any emotion or thoughts in it builds up inside of me and I feel like a shaken bottle of coke, and eventually the bubbles start to break free, its like I have truth turrets, and no matter how much I try and hold it down it will start to slip out through a number of ways like Freudian slips or small annoying repetitive behaviours- then I'll just start acting plain old weird because I'll be busy internally fighting my natural urges or truths while at the same time double thinking my every move so to contain the honesty urges.
So for my own health of mind if I cant just be honest I have to remove myself because being inhibited is just hard work- its exhausting- its like my mind is an over active screaming child and control is an adult with both hands of its mouth while pinning down its wriggling body with its weight.
Self control and inhibition is not me
But at the same time I just don't like to spoil good vibes or a perfect moment with honesty - but without honesty would that make the very foundation of that perfect moment a lie?
